As an American living in Europe for the last year, I have drawn the exact opposite conclusion about tipping culture. Many of the restaurants I have been to (in France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Holland, Belgium) have, by American standards, horrible service. The waitstaff is inattentive or rude. You have to call waiters over constantly to give them your order, ask for another drink, or get the bill.
I think that part of this stems from different cultural opinions on service (i.e. it's rude to bring the check preemptively), but some of it is just lack of incentive, I think. What incentive does a waitress have to give you good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips? Especially if the waitress has increased job protection in certain countries (it's harder for an employer to fire people in France than in the US).
I'm quite certain this is a cultural difference. What you find to be rude or inattentive is considered polite in some European countries. For a waiter to be appearing at the table often, unsummoned, is rude in Germany, for example.
If you want the waiter, so etiquette says, you'll summon him/her.
Seconded. As a Brit living in the US I often find US waitstaff's behavior intrusive. In particular, the 'is everything OK?' asked five minutes after the main course is served always bemuses me, especially when it interrupts someone talking. It's cultural for sure.
As an American living in the US, I also find the "is everything OK?" interruption to be especially annoying.
One thing I've noticed, though: this happens in chain restaurants regularly, but in smaller, independent restaurants only rarely.
It's not really cultural: I think it's a product of the disconnect that naturally occurs when people without any feet-on-ground presence are making policies to be followed by the staff, and the other end of the feedback loop isn't isn't in place.
The reason they come back right after delivering the food is so they can make sure your meal is as you ordered. Is something cold or taste especially bad? Was the wrong sauce or filling used by the cook?
Everyone understands that as the reason for it, but it doesn't make it less rude or overbearing.
If I have a problem with the food, I'll get a waiters attention - perhaps with a snap of my fingers - which is expected and not at all rude and let the waiter know.
Snapping my fingers at the waiter isn't something I'd ever do in the US though.
I'm an aussie and I find it really annoying as well. Definitely cultural. Be polite & friendly at point of order, and then stay out of the way.
A reply below you says its to make sure you got what you ordered, etc. I could count on a few fingers the times ive ever got the wrong thing/meal, and then you just ask.
The primary reason they do this is less altruistic, though. Once you've agreed that the meal (as presented) is satisfactory, you're on the hook to pay the bill.
Yeah sometimes the "overtly polite" and very smiley and friendly attitude I get from (the small amount of interaction) with American service staff just seems so fake and saccarine at times.
In the UK, you just catch their eye. Good waiters will be scanning frequently for customers in need of service. You can also just make a subtle hand gesture like slightly raising the index finger with the palm of the hand facing down.
Same in Australia. This is actually where the US system backfires. Because the servers aren't actually "waiting" for these subtle ques from the customers I've at times had trouble getting their attention.
In Japan, some restaurants (not the fancy ones, but family-friendly places) have a button on the table just for that. Push it, and a few seconds later a waitress appears, just like in an airplane.
If you have younger kids, you have to be careful to sit them away from the button.
Shouting politely is always an option, but I feel restaurants should really adopt having a button at each table that customers can use if they have any requests to make to their waiter or waitress.
not sure if you are trying to be sarcastic or just lack experience. while you can always shout or call out politely, you can also waive at the passing server (it doesn't have to be the one that served you). and if you find shouting too crude you can just excuse yourself from the table and walk to the waiter. at most restaurants the servers are on standby if their guests need any attention, but that does not require them to show up at the table to check if you enjoying your meal.
I don't think it's a common experience in America.
I was eating at an Italian restaurant in Miami. Two beachgoers came in a bit after me, stared at the menu for 15 minutes, and left in a huff. Even if they had looked around the restaurant in a grumpy "where the fuck is our waiter" manner, he would've been at their table in 10 seconds.
The normal hover/frequent checkup behavior of American waiters and waitresses seems to be counter to this in almost all ways. It seems as though the rounds they make to check on everyone makes it much harder to get their attention when needed, in comparison to a waiter who stands back and watches.
There's no journey, they give you their name and proceed to take your drink orders.
No need to be condescending here, he even prefixed it with "in America," and what he said is absolute fact. If you aren't waited on in the first 15 minutes, in America, you aren't in a good restaurant.
It's normally something like "Hi, my name is Kybernetikos, I'll be your server today. If you have any questions just let me know. I'll bring out some water and take your drink order."
It's something you typically ignore until it's not there.
As a South Floridian, I'll point out that Miami is a culture unto itself, and what goes on there cannot be taken as an example of the typical way of doing things in America (or Florida, for that matter.)
>As an American living in Europe for the last year, I have drawn the exact opposite conclusion about tipping culture.
As a Brit when in America I find it awful how the waitress will pretend to be friendly. If we're just a group of guys or whatever I don't want you to be pretended to be interested in who we are, what we do. Putting a hand on my back isn't going to make me prefer the food I'm here for. If I wanted someone to pretend to be my friend, I'd be in a titty bar.
I think there is a good middle ground, in the UK tips are expected to be about 12.5% max. All staff share them, and front of house aren't so transparent in trying to get a bigger tip from you. People appear to take pride in what they do, rather than just being mercenary.
Foreigners have the saying here in the Netherlands: "You can complain about the fake friendliness of waiters in the USA, but in the Netherlands you know they genuinely f*n hate you."
As an American working in the UK, I was surprised to discover how often Brits and other Europeans assumed that genuine friendliness was "fake friendliness". Their own attitudes toward others were assumed to be universal, so any sign of friendliness that they wouldn't have expected in their own society was assumed to be fake.
Yes, sometimes it is fake, but very often it's a case of being unable to imagine a culture where genuine friendliness toward strangers is a lot more common than what they themselves tend to feel toward strangers.
It's true! Why, you and I may not even be of the same social class! It would be quite impertinent of you to address me as an equal or presume an easy familiarity!
> As a Brit when in America I find it awful how the waitress will pretend to be friendly
Depending on where you've visited, this may have little to do with the restaurant setting, and everything to do with the local culture. There are some regions in America in which engaging with others at that level of familiarity is expected in any context, and being impersonal and excessively "professional" is considered rude.
> Putting a hand on my back isn't going to make me prefer the food I'm here for.
Perhaps you're immune to the effect, since you know about it. But in aggregate, it can change the disposition of customers (measured using the metric of increased tips).
Is there a tipping culture in the UK? I always thought that the mandatory service charge in some restaurants (especially when one has a big party) made up for it. Now I feel slightly guilty.
10-12.5%, but not if there's a mandatory service charge. Restaurants, cab drivers, barbers etc, but not in pubs (if you're mates with the landlord, offer them a drink on you sometimes...)
Conversely I find staff in America over-attentive, prone to interrupting and getting in the way, dressed in plastic smiles and faking happiness just as hard as they can.
To me, tips encourage wait staff to get in the way and try to make themselves part of the evening, which is not something I want in a meal out with friends.
I was a waiter. Checking back every N minutes is not to get a bigger tip; it is almost always forced by management. Chili's, for example, requires that you check back within 3 minutes of serving the main course. Also, at my store, they required that you take the order down on one knee in order to seem more "casual". Bleh. I didn't do it.
Yup, this. Macaroni Grill had 17 steps of service that HAD to be hit at every table including checking back within a certain time to make sure everyone's pasta bolognese was to their liking. It's a management step to legislate to the lowest common denominator, both in waitstaff (ensures no one is in the back smoking while a patron has a raw steak) and customer (as in software, the user rarely understands they need more butter until 2 minutes after the food is delivered).
I have noticed that this happens at Nandos over here in the UK too, it seems to be part of their formula. That is typically the last interaction you have with the staff though, as their model is that you pay when you order.
I am spanish and when I go to a restaurant where the witer knees to tale the order, I find that it's coming too close, like when they seat. It's a cultural think for sure but I read it as an intrussion in my space.
Yes, but saying that the purpose is to be "casual" as an explanation sounds a lot better to the employees who are listening to it than saying that the purpose is to be "submissive", which is what kneeling before the person you are taking orders from really is.
I'm an American. And usually if they're on their knees, they're looking up at you. At least when they were the ones looking down, they had the plausible excuse of having to move around all the time.
Something I do not want is to be chatting with friends, and to have the wait staff plop down on a chair with us and try to chat me up. It's such an obvious ploy to get tips.
This is just a cultural difference. You expect American style service from a different culture with different values and manners. What's "rude" to you is acceptable and even polite there. You will have to learn to deal with this as normal. When I was living in a European country I was told about this in advance from the locals who gave me an orientation. What bothered me most was some of the other Americans I was with complaining about how "rude" all the locals were. They were the ones being rude by expecting the entire world be have the same concept of manners as them.
What incentive does a cook have to give you a good meal if she's making a standard wage and no tips?
What incentive does a dishwasher have to do a proper job washing your dishes if she's making a standard wage and no tips?
What incentive does a fast food employee have to good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips?
What incentive does a barista have to good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips?
"What incentive does a cook have to give you a good meal if she's making a standard wage and no tips? What incentive does a dishwasher have to do a proper job washing your dishes if she's making a standard wage and no tips? What incentive does a fast food employee have to good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips? What incentive does a barista have to good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips?"
From what I've heard, in the US it's standard practice to split the tip among the staff in a restaurant. The cook, host/hostess, even the other waiters get their share of a single waiter's tip.
I'm not sure about the dishwasher. But it's pretty obvious what incentive the dishwasher has in keeping the dishes clean: if they're not, he/she will get fired.
I have a data point of 2. I knew two waitresses. They both took home their tips at the end of the night, without sharing with anyone. One of them was required to only report 15% of her sales to the IRS for taxing, but always took home way way more than that, so she made tons of tax free income. Also the United States is a large place, there is different customs different places.
It's pretty obvious what incentive the waitstaff has to provide good service, if they don't, they get fired. Tipping is arbitrary. I tip the person who pours my drink at the bar, but not the person who pour my drink at McDonald's.
Oh, by the way, when I was younger and in high school/college I worked three public facing customer service jobs where I didn't earn any tips. I worked my ass off at each job for standard wages. I always provided the best customer service I could. My incentive was I wanted to do my job effectively and not get fired or reprimanded. It is incredibly naive to think that if waitstaff earned a fair wage without tips they would all suddenly stop doing their job. Especially since they already know they are going to get a tip anyways, it is pretty much required to give a tip, no matter how bad the service was!
Here's an interesting experience from an american living in Croatia. A small excerpt:
> The waiters and waitresses in Croatia keep it real. And by keeping it real I mean they maintain authenticity, and by that I mean they do things like finish their cigarette or magazine article before taking your order, approach your table with almost total indifference and sometimes do everything in their power NOT TO NOTICE YOU! For my American readers it may sound strange, but I prefer this kind of “service” to what we have in the US. As it is with lots of things in Croatia, once you go through the looking glass, there’s no going back.
Most people paid hourly wages or monthly salaries aren't doing jobs that are entirely composed of rendering direct personal service to a customer over an extended period of time.
Tipping is indeed customary in every service trade that I'm aware of, because it conforms to the reality that the waiter/deliveryman/taxi driver/etc. actually is working, at least in part, directly for the customer.
So, in other words, little to no incentive? The prospect of a bigger tip is certainly an incentive. I speak from experience. It's also the reason that many waiters (myself included at one time) will prioritize, say, a group of four adults ordering drinks over a grumpy family with two kids ordering salads and water.
The depends on how well the employer monitors performance and holds employees accountable.
Of course, employers who do bad at this in terms of customer service staff will find their business develops a reputation for poor customer service, and loses out to businesses that do a good job at this, all other things being equal.
That's maybe a culture difference.
Here in italy we prefer to not have the waiters constant near to you but to call them only when you need them. They are "allowed" to come near only when they see all the people in a table have finisched their dishs.
Also, it's rude if the waiters give_you/ask_you_if_you_want the bill before you ask for that.
Haha, I kind agree, but I also lived in the US for a while. I talked to a coworker a while back though, and he came back from a conference in the US and was annoyed that waiters kept asking him if he wanted anything and when he said he didn't they brought him the bill right away. It's pretty common in Germany for example to just sit at the table and talk with your friends, but he felt like as soon as he stopped ordering anything they wanted him out.
It's not terrible service, it's just a welcome hug to foreigners. If you like the place or the food, give a small tip, come back, and you will be befriended by a smile.
> What incentive does a waitress have to give you good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips?
Does your boss pay you a few extra dollars if you were extra productive and cheerful today? No? Would that be kind of demeaning, actually? Do you do a good job because it it's what you want to do?
"Does your boss pay you a few extra dollars if you were extra productive and cheerful today? No? Would that be kind of demeaning, actually?"
It may be demeaning to you, as you probably make far more money than a waiter. But waiters in the US typically get paid an atrociously low salary, and make most of their income from tips.
"Do you do a good job because it it's what you want to do?"
Few people consider waiting tables their dream job. They usually do it because they consider it a temporary job, not a career. Some may take pride in doing an exceptional job, but they're probably the exception rather than the rule.
> It may be demeaning to you, as you probably make far more money than a waiter. But waiters in the US typically get paid an atrociously low salary, and make most of their income from tips.
Waiters get paid an atrociously low salary because it is anticipated that their real pay will come from tips. This is part of the "tipping culture", not an external factor which justifies tipping culture.
"Waiters get paid an atrociously low salary because it is anticipated that their real pay will come from tips."
I think it's rather that employers aren't willing to pay more, and waiters usually can't afford to turn down work that pays them these salaries, and there usually isn't another alternative that pays any better.
Regardless of the reasons for this state of affairs, the fact is that watiers in the US do get paid atrocious salaries and can't afford to look down their noses at "an extra few dollars" in tips.
I'm sure plenty of waiters would trade in the tip system for a guaranteed higher salary, but it's usually not up to them to decide.
> I think it's rather that employers aren't willing to pay more
I think its rather that employers are specifically legally permitted to pay less than the minimum they would have to pay others for the specific reason that waiters are expected to get a significant share of their income in tips.
While, obviously, restaurants may pay more than the minimum, the lower minimum for this particular class of employees depresses wages across the entire class.
So, yes, what employers are willing to pay is a factor, but what employers are willing to pay is driven by expectations that are set by, among other things, what employers are required to pay. And one of those other things, as well as the express reason for the lower amount employers are required to pay, is the presumption of tipping.
> Regardless of the reasons for this state of affairs, the fact is that watiers in the US do get paid atrocious salaries and can't afford to look down their noses at "an extra few dollars" in tips.
Well, yes, dependence on tips in certain jobs is a product of tipping culture. That's actually one of the arguments for tipping culture being a bad thing.
How you correct it given the way it is deeply ingrained in both the formal (e.g., law) and informal aspects of culture is, of course, another question.
I think that part of this stems from different cultural opinions on service (i.e. it's rude to bring the check preemptively), but some of it is just lack of incentive, I think. What incentive does a waitress have to give you good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips? Especially if the waitress has increased job protection in certain countries (it's harder for an employer to fire people in France than in the US).