// If you’re not a Deep South religious person, I’ll eat my hat.

LOL. I am a New Yorker with dual (EU/US) citizenship and two graduate degrees. So you can eat that hat if you'd lile.

Like I said, I grew up secular and have developed a deeper understanding of religion and its benefits in my late 30s.

Point is, You’re VERY clearly not a secular individual.

Eat your hat.