I'm sort of coming to the conclusion that for some fraction of users, there is nothing that can be done to get them to think at all before raising a trouble ticket.
I think this is correct, but I also think it's fine. Users shouldn't have to think about your job. They have their own jobs to fill their time. Implement systems that capture and trace errors, that provide an audit trail of user actions prior to an error event, and capture the state of the system when something goes wrong (or when they hit the help button). Don't rely on users to have to learn how to describe an error in a meaningful way in order to make your job easier. That's not their job.
I agree with you if it's a customer reaching out to a company whose product they use, or service they've purchased, etc.
But if you're using internal company support, it is by definition your job. You should be expected to put in the minimal effort of reading through the "What to do when X doesn't work" documentation when your ticket subject is "X doesn't work" and the body is "help"
I think this is correct, but I also think it's fine. Users shouldn't have to think about your job. They have their own jobs to fill their time. Implement systems that capture and trace errors, that provide an audit trail of user actions prior to an error event, and capture the state of the system when something goes wrong (or when they hit the help button). Don't rely on users to have to learn how to describe an error in a meaningful way in order to make your job easier. That's not their job.