Is the average for a developer really that low (in the US)? In the Boston-area market (now remote, but same pay scale), we're paying more than that for fresh college hires.
Get hired, contribute to your 401(k), buy a house, and do that for 15 years and in most markets I think your change in net worth over the 15 years is more likely to be >$1MM than less.
According to U.S. Bureau of Labor Stats May 2018 for the job category "Software Developers, Applications" mean salary is $108K. They provide percentiles 10% at 66K and 90% at 161K.
Well, I have to support a family on it. I dont get time to do anything enjoyable. I don't have any upward mobility. All with no end in sight for when I'll be able to quit this job I hate.
Start working some l33tcode problems and applying to other jobs. If you hate your job, it pays poorly, you have no upward mobility, and you don't get to do anything enjoyable, get another job. The companies on levels.fyi are all hiring, go do what it takes to get hired by them.
There really aren't any job options in my area. I don't consider remote an option for a new job since it's much more difficult to onboard virtually. I dont have time to LeetCode due to family constraints.
> buy a house
In my neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY, a 1 bedroom is approximately a million dollars. COL in the area where your job is is critically important as well.
Get hired, contribute to your 401(k), buy a house, and do that for 15 years and in most markets I think your change in net worth over the 15 years is more likely to be >$1MM than less.