> I might need a job badly but I find it difficult to show that I need it badly.
Okay, so there's a very fine line here. You don't want to show that you need it badly. You want to show that you want it badly.
Need it badly would imply that the reason you're there is for the cash, and you don't care about the company you're applying for or the job you're going to do for them.
Want it badly might likely imply that you're dying to do the job you're applying for, and you're dying to work for this particular company.
A candidate who just needs a job and spends time communicating that they need a job badly is going to lower their chances. A candidate who wants the job badly spends time talking about the company they're applying for, and why that particular company is the place they want to be, and why that particular job is the job they want to do.
> they are so much about pretending
In my experience, pretending doesn't go very far. It's far better to be in a place of complete honesty about your skills and about your needs and wants. When you're honest, and you find the job you actually want, and you apply for that job, it will show and your chances will go up. I've been interviewing engineers for a couple of decades, and I can tell you it's fairly easy to spot people who are pretending about how good they are and how much they want the job, the entire process is designed to weed out pretenders.
I agree with you, I was trying to make my point more clear by comparing the extremes, since it's a subtle point. I realize I run the risk of sounding like I'm suggesting people should be open to taking less than they're worth. That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm suggesting that attitude matters, and that's not a trend.
Please do keep in mind the context of my words. Parent comment said "I need a job badly". You wouldn't walk into an interview and say that out loud, right?
Larger context, OP said he has a good resume and is professional, but it isn't working. There can be more to it, and not because it's fasionable or trendy, but because there always have been and always will be human factors.
Hey. Many valid point dahart. I guess, in 30s, one needs more sophisticated ways to project more or less the same things as one in 20s. I read/interpreted your "wanting" a job statement, the wrong way :)
When multiple people take it a different way than I intended, then I must assume that it's my fault and I did a bad job of communicating my idea.
I could rephrase what I meant to say as simply try to talk less about what you need and talk more about what the company needs. Let the company ask you about what you need.
As other people have pointed out, getting a job is similar to dating. Mutual interest makes a good pairing, and two parties that are only self-interested makes a bad pairing. It would be a bad idea to tell someone they should date you because you really just want to have sex with someone -- anyone -- right? It's a bad idea to date someone you like who doesn't like you, but agrees to it anyway because you pay for meals. It's a good idea to date someone who likes your personality and looks, and someone who's personality and looks you like, someone who you genuinely want to learn more about and look forward to talking to every day.
> As other people have pointed out, getting a job is similar to dating. Mutual interest makes a good pairing, and two parties that are only self-interested makes a bad pairing.
This is a common analogy, but one I fundamentally disagree with. Dating is about creating a deep personal bond with a single other person. Getting a job is business, and business is fundamentally about two or more self-interested parties coming to a mutually beneficial agreement. I think not treating the process as such, and treating it like dating, are at the root of this industry's hiring issues.
I don't disagree. :) I'm intrigued and want to hear more of your take, though we might be too deep in the comments to have a meaningful conversation.
The analogy isn't perfect, of course, but I only think interviewing and dating are similar in some ways, not all ways, and they aren't the same thing. Of course.
It's true that business is about finances and not bonding, and there are definitely times where it's best to keep that abundantly clear, I think you add a good perspective.
It's also true that I have declined to hire some people primarily due to their negative attitude and declared lack of interest in the company or the job they're applying for, and I know others who've made exactly the same call. I also screwed up a job interview once by being overtly disinterested, and regretted it and it stuck with me.
So, we can certainly disagree about how it's characterized, I don't mind what we call it, but it's still true that coming to a job interview disinterested or only as a self-interested financial arrangement is less likely to score you the job you want.
I can say from personal experience that starting a company truly is similar in many ways to getting married, with all the trials and tribulations. To come to that relationship primarily as a self-interested party simply may not functionally work at all, and it's certainly very common for business partners to be mutually emotionally invested.
Having interviewed some people recently for a more co-founder type of position, the process was more literally like dating than any engineer hiring I did before. People were in fact looking for a personality match, and requested that I take personality tests to validate that. People do look for an alignment of vision, and do evaluate me on the basis that we'll be spending a lot of time together should we pair up. We talked business too, but the evaluation of common goals and personality match, general likability, work ethic, goals and dreams for the future, these things were the primary traits I was judged by, not my technical skills, and not the financial equation. And not by my ass either, so yes, it's not dating, but it was surprisingly close. ;)
Okay, so there's a very fine line here. You don't want to show that you need it badly. You want to show that you want it badly.
Need it badly would imply that the reason you're there is for the cash, and you don't care about the company you're applying for or the job you're going to do for them.
Want it badly might likely imply that you're dying to do the job you're applying for, and you're dying to work for this particular company.
A candidate who just needs a job and spends time communicating that they need a job badly is going to lower their chances. A candidate who wants the job badly spends time talking about the company they're applying for, and why that particular company is the place they want to be, and why that particular job is the job they want to do.
> they are so much about pretending
In my experience, pretending doesn't go very far. It's far better to be in a place of complete honesty about your skills and about your needs and wants. When you're honest, and you find the job you actually want, and you apply for that job, it will show and your chances will go up. I've been interviewing engineers for a couple of decades, and I can tell you it's fairly easy to spot people who are pretending about how good they are and how much they want the job, the entire process is designed to weed out pretenders.