Not all people work long hours because that's the role they ended up with or they feel they "have to". I work more than 40 hours a week as an escape from other tasks and problems in life (similar to how people use alcohol, food or gaming for that purpose).
My ex-wife worked long hours because she always wanted the acceptance of everyone. It cost her a marriage, a job, and ultimately, I think it will cost her the respect of our child. Anyone who is motivated to work long hours for the wrong reasons is doomed to pay a heavy cost.
Honestly in comparison to other options - working too hard is probably a much better form escapism than most. Earning money, producing things that other people need, developing relationships with coworkers are all positive things.
And to be fair - there are plenty of people who attack their leisure pursuits with the same level of unhealthy obsession that workaholics bring to their job. Ultra-marathon runners for example. (Apologies to any actual ultra-marathon runners who might read this... I don't actually presume to know whether your level of commitment to your hobby is healthy or not, and would be interested to hear any opinions on matter).
Mathew Inman (the Oatmeal guy) wrote a book about his experience with running and why he runs [0], the crux of which is to escape. Like many things, it is clearly a coping mechanism. Not all coping mechanisms are created equal. What works for some may not work for others. But I'd encourage anyone to seek real help to solve the problems even if their coping mechanisms are beneficial in some way - they might not be beneficial overall.
When I was a kid, going home from school, when passing through a calm couple of blocks, I'd let off into a full out sprint, and I'd smile from ear to ear, because it felt great. I still smile when I think about. By the way, Forrest Gump anyone?
Anyway, the word coping is the innocent version of escapism. Similar actions are denial and projection. The point is to find a comfortable posture for refusal of reality. The opposite is acceptance of course.
Generally, when we talk about escapism, we mean compulsive escapism. Substance abuse is the worst, because, coupled with compulsiveness, it slowly erodes your ability to function and recover. More constructive escapism, like physical exercise, is probably best, because it has the opposite effect over time. Workaholics are somewhere in between, they get their superegos stroked, because of achievements, but they usually develop poor family environments, so, even though, they survive ok, they have poor life quality in general. Not that the compulsive joggers have great life quality, just that they are probably more emotionally stable. Glandular balance is main reason for that.
As I mentioned, the answer, universally, is acceptance, but how to get that is a journey in of itself.
